Steve Jobs once said: "You cant connect the dots by looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards." How true isn't it? So cherish every moment you have now, because someday in the near future, every thing you are going through right now regardless being big or small events it will all perfectly linked together and determine who you will be. Being able to live in the present is the only way to minimise the regrets we will have in the future because life doesn't provide a pause button. Hence, we should make living everyday worthwhile by living it to the fullest.
To be able to live everyday to the fullest, we have to imagine everyday is our last day. Year2011 is coming to an end, after doing some soul-searching i realised i have wasted one whole year leaving in the past and complaining about anything and everything under the sun.
If 2012 is really our doomsday, i can greatly announced to everyone that i have wasted 18 years of my life. Although i am not wealthy, extremely intelligent or even pretty like a vase but comparing to many people out there i am so much fortunate than them. But they are the one who tries to live their life to the fullest whereas i am just waiting for time to pass. This minute when i am rotting away at home & updating my blog, someone somewhere is fighting for their survivor. How ironic can it be...
This coming year;2012, i promise, i will try my very best to lead a more meaningful life so in the many years to come i can look back and proudly give myself a pat on the shoulder and say well done. :)
Shall end off the post with a question which perfectly describe what's running in my mind when i am typing this post..
"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying and doing something and wishing you had not, or saying and doing nothing and wishing you had?"
"Love is..you just be happy and when it's happy it's like CUPID comes out..and it feels like a happy day."
Although it's a commercial, but the kids in the video are extremely adorable and innocent. Their innocence is what should move the world.
Love is another word represented by anything and anyone in the universal. Definitions of love differ from people to people and are presented in many many forms. Sometimes we seek others for definition of love and only to end up with the many different definitions of what love means to others.
As i grow older, i realise how others define love is not at all important. Since we are the one using our heart to love, our mid-brain to control our emotions, we should be the one to define what love actually means to us.
The moment we start questioning ourself on what love is will be the moment when we lost 'love'. We only start loving when we stop asking what love is and start following our heart and do what is told. Because love cannot be defined, comes in no forms and is definitely a double edged sword.
Oops..hmm..is the content getting heavier? i assume it is so before i end off my post, let's take a break and listen to this song..
Actions speaks louder than words. Therefore, stop seeking the solutions for love by asking for the definitions, follow you heart instead. No one says choosing love will be easy, but it is definitely worth risk.
If i had the chance to turn back the clock, i will definitely choose love and build it on trust.
All these while i am all alone? Recently, i am being too sensitive. I have been hearing and seeing things that i shouldn't be. Reading too much into words and expression. Sometimes i really wonder if i am suffering from depression. Why can't people just live and work with each other in harmony? If we have something to say about someone why can't we tell them straight in the face? Why?
Some people say ignorance is bliss. However when we get to know some parts of a story it will be otherwise as we tend to use our imagination to complete the remaining. At times, i really have no idea who is telling the truth and who is not. Who to trust and who not to. Who is with me or who is against me. The people whom i think i can trust seems like a stranger to me. Sometimes i really wonder if i were to be gone one day who will be the one to realize that i am not around? Reality slapped me real hard. I am lost. Emotions from deep inside continues to engulf me.
All i can do now is to...
Shall end off today's post with two songs. i guess they kinda describe how i feel?
Ever had that feeling of having so much to say but no one to say to? Is it just me or does everyone feels the same?
Some friends once told me that i am not a person who opens up easily to others. Yes very true, but i really don't know who i can confide in, what i can say or not say? Everytime i trust someone, they show me why i shouldn't. :( Personally i feel that having someone who you can pour all your mishap and secrets to is a luxury. It's just like having a Lamborghini Reventon. If you drive and maintain it well it's an artistic piece costing approx $2m. However, if you don't you will have to pay for your mistake. The price for your mistake can range from over speed fines up to the extent of your life. In conclusion, everything revolves around 1 rule, the rule of life, when there's pros there's cons and when there's ups there's downs.
So all these while i have been protecting myself with an invisible shield. Shutting myself down and burying myself with work. Personally i think this is the best way to protect myself from all the hidden threats that i could ever thought of. I have always prepare myself for the worst because no expectations equates to no disappointment. This is how i live my life, i know this is kind of saddening but this is the only way such a naive me can think of to subsist in this society.
At times i really feel pressurised with all the events going on in my life. However, there's no place for me to channel all my emotions to. All this while i have to pretend that i am coping well with life, saying it's ok when all the time i am not. I always think my mind conquers my heart but never do i know all these while i am merely deceiving myself. How foolish can i be. I thought i have come to the end with everything and anything that connects to you and move on to a brand new world whereby you don't exist. But you are just like a spirit always catching up with me and messing up my thoughts like there's no tomorrow. Ironically, I'm glad to know that you still cares. (just thought you should know) Guess moving on is harder than i thought it originally was. I concede defeat and will let nature take it's own course. However long it takes i will wait, i will wait for the day whereby i can say it out loud for finally being able to move on. For now all i can do is regret for leaving so many things and emotions unexpressed and hope for miracles to happen..
Then i realised in this ever changing world there's no such term called 'the end'. The end is just another term for 'never ending'.
ok doubt anyone will visit this dead blog. anyway shall end off with a song which is kinda similar to what i am feeling?...
The lyrics are translated to english... Translation/pinyin/lyrics by Ho@multistars.com
End Of The World
Composer: Jay Chou (周杰倫) (周杰伦) Lyricist: Jay Chou (周杰倫) (周杰伦)
Want to smile to disguise the tears that are falling
Nod head admit to myself that I will be scared of the dark
I only seek that you can lend some time to be with me
But you don't even give sympathy
Want to cry to find out whether I am numb yet
The whole world seems like I am the only one who is tired
Doesn't matter anyway I'm feeling sad so I'll muddle through and go for a time
If only despair and feeling useless would go far away
The sky is very grey will it allow me to forget who you are?
The darker the night dream disobeys
It is hard to chase and hard to enjoy in retrospect
My world is going to be destroyed
Maybe things do not happen as I wish
Am i tired? Shall i sleep?
A single shadow with no one to snuggle with
The darker the night dream disobeys
Who is willing to comfort? (It is hard to chase and hard to enjoy in retrospect)
My world is going to be destroyed
Maybe being dispirited is another kind of beauty
Last but not least, if anyone happen to read this post i say goodbye.
